Would it improve your life to act as if you create all of the joys and sorrows in your life? Answer “YES!” and see that belief improve your life.
In this activity you will practice the language of personal responsibility. By learning to translate Victim statements into Creator statements, you will master the language of successful people.
On the right side of the line, translate the Victim statements into the words of a Creator. The two keys to Creator language are taking ownership of a problem and taking positive actions to solve it. When you respond as if you are responsible for a bad situation, then you are empowered to do something about it (unlike Victims, who must wait for someone else to solve their problems).
|Victim Language||Creator Language|
|1. If they’d do something about the parking on campus, I wouldn’t be late so often.
2. I’m failing my online class because the site is impossible to navigate.
3. I’m too shy to ask questions in class even when I’m confused.
4. She’s a lousy instructor. That’s why I failed the first test.
5. I hate group projects because people are lazy and I always end up doing most of the work.
6. I wish I could write better, but I just can’t.
7. My friend got me so angry that I can’t even study for the exam.
8. I’ll try to do my best this semester.
9. The financial aid form is too complicated to fill out.
10. I work nights so I didn’t have time to do the assignment.
|1. I can start riding my bike to school or walk. I need the exercise!
2. I will spend some extra time today to learn more all of the functions it provides.
3. I’m going to challenge myself to ask at least one question in class when I am confused.
4. I can meet with my instructor or a tutor about my test and figure out how to solve the answers I got wrong.
5. I can work closely with my classmates that are struggling to do their portion of the assignment. Maybe they are confused, or something happened that is making it hard for them to do their portion?
6. I’m going to set up and appointment at the writing center to see how I can improve my weaknesses in my writing.
7. I will take a walk around the temple and ponder about things for a few minutes, I’ll start to feel more relaxed enough to study for my exam.
8. I am going to do my best this semester.
9. I will go to the financial aid office, they may be able to help me fill out this form
10. I am going to and complete my assignment before or after work. I can probably work on it during my breaks!
What did you learn about how you use language: Is it your habit to speak as a Victim or as a Creator? Do you find yourself more inclined to blame yourself, blame others, or seek solutions? Be sure to give examples. What is your goal for language usage from now on? How, specifically will you accomplish this goal?
I definitely used to speak like a victim. Now, the majority of my language is more as a creator. There are times when I may still have a victim attitude, but I work really hard to keep a creative mindset. I find myself with the desire to blame others, but with the knowledge that it is my own doing.
For instance, this past Wednesday I had taken an exam for my Healthcare Finance class. I worked harder then ever to make sure that I new everything that I could and prepared the best I could for it. In fact, I learned the information so well that I happened to be the seconded person in the class to turn it in. I was so surprised that I was the second person, I have not been the second person to turn in a text or quiz since 7th grade in middle school (Yes I remember that far back, It was a big moment for me then as well). I think it was that thought processes that overwhelmed my mind so much, I completely disregarded the “scratch paper” which consisted of my complete and perfect income statement and 4 additional problems. I even went up to the professor and asked her if we needed to turn in the scratch paper to which she said with confidence, “no”. I then proceeded to place my packet on the table without the “scratch paper”. I didn’t find out I did this until the TA emailed me asking if I had done the income statement portion of the test and that he couldn’t find it any where he looked. I confessed to my fault as quickly as a realized it. I could have blamed it on him, but didn’t. I could have blamed the professor for telling me it that we didn’t need to turn in the “scratch paper”. Instead, I emailed my professor, met up with her, and told her my situation. I told her I would rewrite it for her with even less information then she provided or anything she would like for me to have the chance to make it up. She then said that she would think about it and work to determine what would be fair to class. I was again disappointed at her response, but I thought, “At least she is willing to think about it”. At this point in time I am still waiting for her decision.
As for a new goal, I would really like to work to eliminate my desire to blame others. I really don’t like having to fight that temptation as much. It makes it so much easier to blame other people rather than accepting personal accountability.